The sparrow's viewpoint *o*

My dragon-friend Amaritza is still working as a journalist and has arranged to talk to Jack Sparrow

As you might be able to see from the interview it is my fictional cutie pie though who - somewhat reluctantly - plays the beautiful buccaneer in this case *O*

This is Amaritza - seated in The Peg legged Pirate Parrot, Silverville, Treasure Island. I sit here in front on Mr. Johnny Sweets .. Eh, sorry - my mistake ...

Mr. Jack Sparrow, re-known pirate and ladies man extraordinary.

... you are not? Oh ...

You are not a pirate despite all the public-relation´s material here who says - erm - oh, you are not a ladies man?

Well ... I beg to differ. ... no need to pout - really ...

O.k. - shall we start?

JS: (with a charming smile) Sure. Shoot, Ms. A.

A: Erm - could I lend a pistol then? And what should I shoot at ... Yes. Yes! First question ... Hrmh-hum ... What is your favourite colour?

JS: (a bit impatient and with a smile which might just about pass as evil) Blood red, of course! All pirates looove that colour. And black as dark as night. ... as death.

A: (a bit riled herself) And your favourite flower - Sir?

JS: (with a delighted grin) Tiger lily.

A: Oh ... Does captain ... Does your colleague captain Hook know of that - and Peter Pan?

JS: I wrote the book, didn´t I! ... eh - sorry, Amy - wrong movie! Erm -NEXT question!

A: Erm - yes - I note you sit with your back to the wall - chose this table especially even though there is plenty of other tables free. Any particular reason?

JS: Yes, well - I guess ... I just don´t like anybody behind my back - and Lefty told me always to pick the table ... I mean, a good friend said one should always choose the table against the wall. ... I guess I just don´t like the idea of strangers I don´t know what will do next behind me ... It makes the little hair at the back of my neck stand up straight - and with this long hair they haven´t much room for moving ... (Then suddenly remembering where we are and why the poor pirate continues) Pirates do not like people who goes behind their back! That is a well known fact! Cross me once and you are dead!

Here I thought of all the time I had gotten him mad and only got yelled at - not killed at all - but went on with the questioning *o*

A: How do you manage with all those spiders on board the old ships and around the treasure piles?

JS: It was Ichabod who was scared of ... And the real Depp who perhaps doesn´t like ... NO comment! Next question!

A: Yes - well ... Yes! I have seen a picture of you from the movie holding a crown up thoughtfully - has it finally been established that you really are a prince like Fay Dunaway and Meeps Magpie claim.

JS: ... GIRLS! ... and that include dragons too !!! Female dragons, anyway ... I was just wondering how much the fence would pay - that´s all.

A; He. O.K. ... can you please tell me how a cute little sparrow like yourself fares in the big sea-gulls´ world? I mean - erm ... Where did that knife come from? Now don´t overplay your role, young man ...

JS: (with a very angry face and the sharp looking knife only inches from my face) I said this interview was a silly idea, Amaritza! You dream - fantasize - drool about a dangerous pirate but when his anger is turned at you you are not so proud of - YIKES !!!

A: (coughing politely behind a hand because of the little bit of smoke that follow the small boost of fire that melted the blade of the knife) Human girls might do that, little one. ... but I am a dragon after all, my dear. But now that that is established I apologise. A giggling Meeps seems to have changed my question when she typed them out for me and I just read what was written before realising what she had written.

JS: (with a fond little smile) Yes, that question did sound like her. (then shamefacedly) Sorry, Amy - it is just ... Most people look at me and think "Is that all?" ... or at least so I feel at times.

Here I had to go around the table and hug him for a moment and tell him that I certainly didn´t think so!

And that despite her teasing Meeps didn´t either !!!

JS: Hrmh - no. Next question, please, my sweet Amy.

A: (so I asked what I would have asked before Meeps edited my question) How does one go from playing - being - sweet men like Sam, Edward Scissorhands and Ichabod to playing a pirate?

JS: (giggling a bit) With difficulty. ... erm - no. Sorry, Amy. I´ll be serious. ... well - if I could only play one kind of man I wouldn´t be much of an actor, would I now. ... and I guess that both types of men are in me somewhere - at home with Meeps I am more those you mentioned before. Peaceful - I guess one could say sweet ... Except not like Edward - I want to be able to caress that silly broad when ever I feel like it! But ...once in a while I want - action ... adventure. ... and actually the mostly timid chicken does too. As long as it is pretty safe adventures, that is. He. She - we would be bored otherwise. ... and to be frank - you - and the teasing giggle-puss Meeps - may be right too. As pirates goes I might only be a sparrow amongst big seagulls. ... but then again a sparrow is smart, fast and can peck the big critters pretty hard in their big broad feet and be gone before they realize what has happened.

A: Right, my sweet. (I couldn´t help smiling at the image of the little pecking sparrow disappearing so fast that the sea-gull didn´t even get a brown tail feather in its beak) Hm - next question ... This is one of Meeps´ too, I can see ...

JS: Ask it anyway. I promise to be sweet now.

A: Oh, you always are (That statement made him blush and called for the waiter to hide it - so I waited until the man had left more rum before asking) ... the silly broad has seen a picture where you are laying on your stomach on the ship and she has gotten it into her feathered brain that you were making love to the vessel. Now she want to know what - if anything - came out of it ... A canoe, a tug boat or a small viking ship?

JS: A spanked chicken (he answered with great calm - and then giggled) Who´ll have to stand UP on her perch in the chicken coop the next couple of days.

A: Well. chickens usually does ...

JS: Not this bird. She sits in her easy chair or lays in my arms.

A: Yes, I know. ... my next question is; have you read Treasure Island.

JS: Oh, yes.

A: Would you consider playing long John Silver some time in the future?

JS: Fu .. fugasie A, Amy! There is a complicated guy for you. Charming and not to be trusted at the same time. Meeps who has known him all her life claims he is the sweetest pussycat as long as he gets his way. ... I guess that goes for most people actually. And I have never quite understood why the doctor and the squire should have more right to the treasure than Silver - do you understand that?

A: Now I am asking the question here, boy! Tshee-hee. ... no, Sweetie. I can´t explain it either. Jim Hawkins - and his mother, I guess - inherited the treasure map from the pirate living at the inn ... But that should only give those two right to a share in the treasure. But it guess that in the novel - as very often in life - might becomes right - unfortunately.

JS: Yes ... And that can make me so MAD. It´s just not fair !!! ... but then again - Silver had stolen the treasure from other people - together with his fellow pirates, I guess ... Where was the fairness in that?

We contemplated that in silence for a moment.

Then my sweet friend suddenly looked scared so I asked why

JS: Silver has only got one leg, right?

A: Yes? ... but this is only a movie, Baby - with all those special effects they can do today you probably don´t even have to jump around on one leg and the other tied up behind you.

JS: (not looking too easy asked) Are you sure? (And when I nodded added looking worried) You don´t think - I mean ... People talk about method acting - and - and ... really becoming the figure and all ... You don´t think guys like Brandon and James Dean and so on would have had their leg chopped off and - and ... cluck?

Here I looked pretty confused at my at other times so very smart friend and then detected a very, very small smile in his eyes - which in a second broke out in a very broad happy smile because I had for a moment believed him. Before I could hit him over the head with the microphone though a well known voice in the back ground clucked *O*

"Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, sweet Johnny.

Happy birthday to you"

And yes, Meeps´ singing does sound like a dull saw going through very hard wood but to judge from the happy smile on Johnny´s face she could have been the greatest of singers.

Then I saw behind all matter of people coming in with present and cakes and balloons and firecrackers. And long John himself came hurrying over and told them angrily to stop that nonsense - the whole inn is made of wood after all.

But after that outburst he beamed along with the rest of Johnny´s friends. ... that is - Meeps´s imaginary Johnny´s friends.

But I sure hope the real charming, clever Mr. John Christopher Depp jun. has as many friends, cake, balloons and presents on his fortieth birthday as our sweet boy had.

I´ll let the silly Meeps´ little speech for her darling end this interview which I hope you all have enjoyed.

Yours Amaritza, journalist and dragon.

Happy birthday, dear Johnny.

You know, baby, it´s funny.

But when you smile to me like that

I would eat my old hat

if you are not only twenty.

You are for ever young

and thy praise will be sung

as long as I have breath.

But when that is cluck - said

I appreciate much more that you are so sweet!

No! I will not that statement delete !!!

Tshe *o*

Be you Crane, Sparrow or Abberline

I am so very happy you are mine.

At least you are in my fantasy

which is very fine, you see.

Because then I don´t have to worry

about whether so wonderful a boy will hurry

and leave me behind.

No - you are way too kind!

So congratulation on your birthday

and here we will all say

"Could you please stay on another fifty?"

That would so very nifty.

Now my rhymes are limping a bit ...

so I think, I will sit.

But before I do

I will ask your friends here to toast you!

And so the chicken did.

We of course all drank to a very touched and smiling Johnny´s - erm - Jack´s -o* - health and wished him many happy returns. ... could you, my reader, please do the same? Even if you're only toaching him in coffee or water ...

With the life both the real Johnny Depp and Meeps´ imaginary sweetie sometimes live they can use all the good wishes they can get *O*

back shortcut to frontpage forward